It’s Wednesday, August 13th, and today we’re talking about Failure Culture and why it won’t fly in community.

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Stop glamourizing failure

Glamourizing failure isn’t the same as valuing failure, and when it comes to community, can be especially dangerous.

We’ve been taught to fail fast and often. We’ve been taught wrong. The most successful people mitigate risk and value failure. This distinction is especially critical in community strategy.

Failing a community launch is close to a terminal event. You get one shot to convert fans and customers into believers, and breaking that trust carries a uniquely difficult consequence.

Most communities fail. For every thriving community, there are hundreds that are dying slow deaths. The strategy and consistency were lacking. Because we’re always celebrating failures, we seem to misunderstand the long-term implications.

I want people to take community more seriously, and on a more grand scale, to stop pretending that failing is cool.

Let’s talk about:

• The malarkey that is failure culture

• What successful people do

• And why the stakes are raised by community

In 2009, I was getting ready to open a dance studio for adults. Dance had become my world, and not a single space existed in my city where adults could get their groove on. I rented a defunct yoga studio in a 150-year-old building that had a roach problem and no air conditioning. We were right over a gay bar, and when we had big dance events, the toilet would drip into the bar below. It was a scene.

I paid 300 dollars to a website called Logo Nerds, and walked away with this gem:

…talk about humble beginnings.

I had 5k to my name. Not 6-12 months operating expenses. Not even 3 months of operating expenses. 5k. I was naïve, clueless, and full of unwarranted confidence.

I wanted to see that stunning logo on a t-shirt, so I called a local shop and asked how much 100 shirts would be, hoping to sell them in the lobby. “Nine dollars each, the guy said”.

Awesome. I could do $90. I placed the order.

A week later I stopped by to pick up my shirts. Oh man, was I excited! I had a business! With a logo! On a t-shirt! After inspecting my new beauties, Nathan, my friendly neighborhood screen printer handed me the invoice.

Which of course, was $900. Not $90. 100x9 is not 90. I am not great at math, but I’m not that bad. I was simply moving too fast. At the time I made the original call I was planning a grand opening, cleaning the space, and trying to build a Wix website. I was unfocused and my brain simply eliminated a zero.

I had just lost 1/5th of my meager runway to a non-essential item.

This was a failure of flat-out carelessness. It wasn’t cool, and it created a lot of problems for me. You’re not going to see me posting about the “Ten Lessons Failure Taught Me” on LinkedIn.

First, a distinction: feeling like a failure and actually failing are two different things.

When something doesn’t work, feeling like a failure is a natural response, but it’s not a helpful place to hang out for long. Every failure offers the opportunity to develop just a little more anti-fragility. If we’re smart, we find the lesson and we don’t repeat it.

Entrepreneurs and leaders often champion the concept of failing their way to success, perpetuating "failure culture." This idea suggests that turning setbacks into something positive is the way to go, with the motto being “Fail early, fail often”. This approach makes sense because failing early means you can quickly learn from your mistakes and move on to the next idea that might actually work.

But here's the catch: we usually only hear one side of the story. It's easy to celebrate failure when we only hear about the ones that eventually led to fantastic success. Think about J.K. Rowling's dozen rejections before Harry Potter, Bill Gates' first business flop, or Einstein's early academic struggles. We're told that even if we mess up, success is just around the corner.

However, we rarely hear about those who fail and never bounce back. We don’t talk about Carl Morrison’s company and the 30 people who lost their income—or Tiffany Ngo’s nonprofit and the year of depression she battled when it went under.

We prefer success stories because it's comforting to believe we'll reach our goals, too. It's like a mental safety net to help us cope with the tough grind of failing.

It's time to stop putting failure on a pedestal.

Failing isn't all bad. In fact, it often teaches us more than success ever could. It forces us to reevaluate and find ways to get better. When we succeed, it's easy to get complacent since we got what we wanted. So, all those talks and quotes about the value of failure do make some sense.

But failure also sucks. It can have serious consequences. Failed relationships can mean losing loved ones. Failed businesses waste our time, others' time, and money. People lose jobs. We lose credibility with ourselves and others.

Moving too fast without thoughtfulness and critical thinking isn't the stuff of heroes. Some folks love to flaunt their screw-ups and take pride in coming up short. That's just wasted energy and misplaced ego-boosting.

Instead, let's look to successful folks for guidance.

I’ve had the privilege of knowing some very successful people. I’ve worked alongside people like Seth Godin, Sam Parr, and Howard Schultz, as well as lesser-known, but still very successful folks.

I noticed a commonality; they don't shout about their failures from the mountaintops. Nor do they try to deny them. Instead, there is a dedication to consistent improvement, often quietly.

That's why we often think successful people got there by luck or raw talent. They don't advertise their failures; they just keep moving forward. It's an interesting dichotomy because we want to see the good, bad, and ugly. We value transparency, and there is permission inside of hearing about these failures, but valuing failure and acting like it’s a rite of passage are very different things.

The trick is to own up to your failures and make the necessary changes to get the results you actually want. Depending on your goals, these changes might be small—like waking up earlier—or major—like shutting down your business and switching industries. But here's the key: starting over isn't about embracing failure; it's about giving yourself a more strategic shot at success.

An important callout: Successful people don't aim to fail. Failure isn't a good thing in itself. As mentioned above, it often comes with negative consequences.

Failure, for them, is just a byproduct of hard work. They understand it's okay to fail, but they're not actively seeking it out. Instead, they work hard, avoid failure as much as possible, and learn from their missteps to create a more productive future. Failure is a wake-up call, not a goal.

TLDR:

• Failing sucks

• But can be a tool for learning

• But shouldn’t be glamourized

• The real winners fail quietly

• And that failure is a byproduct of hard work, not the objective

Raising the stakes

I’ve failed a lot. The number of projects, both small and grand, that I’ve royally screwed up can fill a small village. I’m not proud. I’m not ashamed. They were just data points. The only time I’ve truly felt some type of way is when I’ve realized that my failures were the result of lazy thinking and bad assumptions.

Many of my biggest successes and failures came when running my previous business. Hundreds of community members counted on me to make good decisions and protect the space they had grown to call home. Being responsible for a community raises the stakes in failure for three big reasons:

1. Reputation and trust: Many of us start by building a successful business and an audience. That kind of reputation and rapport is priceless, and when you’re converting your audience to a community, you’re cashing in on all of that brand equity. If you haven’t mapped out a solid strategy, one of your most precious assets is now at risk. A failed brand community can harm your brand's reputation, but even more importantly, you likely won't get another shot at converting them.

2. Resource Allocation: Building and managing a brand community requires time, effort, and resources. If the community fails, these resources may be wasted, which could have been invested in other growth strategies or core business operations.

3. Competitive Disadvantage: If enough people have raised their hand to join your community, then you can consider a community proof-of-concept. There’s a chance that if you don’t do it right, someone else will. If your competitors successfully establish brand communities, and yours flops, you are at a distinct disadvantage and they will win the chance to understand your customers better, identify trends, and adapt their products or services

It may seem a little cliché to write a newsletter issue that can be summarized as “Failing isn’t great, especially in community, so do better”, but I feel a sense of urgency on this one. When I say most communities fail, it’s not hyperbole. Every week I encounter at least a few that are on their deathbed. It’s totally avoidable:

1. Make sure you should start one. Start by reading David Spinks’ writeup on why You Shouldn’t Start a Community.

2. Then, if you still want to do it, use this key decision checklist so that you can avoid the overdesign trap and instead prioritize the parts that really matter.

🥂

By the way, the studio, now known as Salt Studios, is still thriving. For 11 years it was my daily joy, and now it belongs to another lucky soul.

Marinade

A few things I’ve read this week that are worth soaking in:

• Larry Kim reveals 15 Credibility-Killing Phrases to Banish from Your Vocabulary.

• GrowthInReverse.com: a valuable newsletter for those struggling to build and grow an audience.

• Josh Spector on how to be strategic about designing your life.

Onward,

April

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1. Getting started? Here’s a free 7-day email course 👉🏼 Start your community

2. Check out the CommunityOS Masterclass, a pithy, low-cost course covering all of the basics of community strategy 👉🏼 Get it here

3. Need full support on strategy, launch, and/ or execution? Book a call with our agency. 👉🏼 Schedule here